Search

Blog Archive

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

The 10 Most Common Backhanded Compliments That I Have Received as a Foreigner in Japan

After having lived in Japan for a few years I have heard a variety of ridiculous statements from Japanese strangers, friends and co-workers as well as some other Europeans and Asians too. As a rather unique foreigner living in Asia being not only foreign but a "light-skinned" black American woman I have been told things that are meant to be flattering and taken as a compliment but instead have come off as insulting degrading dehumanizing comical, and beyond ignorant. My race nationality, skin complexion, accent, and mannerisms have all contributed to these backhanded compliments that I have received.

 You can watch my YouTube video on this blog's topic here...

The 10 Most Common Backhanded Compliments That I Have Received in Japan as a Foreigner


 1.) "You're so beautiful because you're half/mixed!"
So I can't just be an attractive woman or an attractive black woman it is only because I have been purified and diluted with another race that I am beautiful. Gotcha!

2.) "You speak good Japanese because you're half (mixed)!"
Apparently it is impossible for a black woman to speak Japanese at a conversational level. It must be because I am half-Japanese.

3.) "You act very Japanese (your personality isn't American)!"
So only Japanese people are capable of showing empathy having good manners, being polite, being friendly, following the rules, and treating people the way that they'd like to be treated. Interesting!

 4.) "I really like light-skinned black women."
So you really don't like dark-skinned black women? You only like me because my complexion isn't dark, but if I had been born with dark-skin my beauty would no longer be valid simply because it isn't as "light"?

 5.) "You're beautiful because you're American (You must be American because you're so beautiful)!"
Are Africans not beautiful because they are not descendants of slaves who raped, tortured and murdered? My country is what makes me beautiful? IS it possible to weed out someone's country of origin based off of their level of attractiveness?

 6.) "You're so strong!"
Apparently being black means I was built with natural muscles and I am made for handwork and labor. What a degrading and dehumanizing statement to make about someone. Sounds like something a slave master would say at an auction.

 7.) " I wish I was half black so I could be a professional athlete."
There is nothing else that black people are good for huh? We're just here for your entertainment I suppose. Apparently being black or half-black is a new trait that they can add to the upcoming Sims game. I've been black all my life and I still haven't made it as a professional athlete.

 8.) "I've always wanted to date/have sex with an American girl."
I've always wanted to have sex with a man that looked like an anime character!  Sounds a bit creepy right? Nobody wants to be used and checked off of your bucket list of places to go, things to do and people to fuck.

 9.) " I like foreign women because they like to have sex."
Now what if I told you I like Asian men because they have small dicks or don't expect sex. If you really believe that foreign women like sex then you're gonna be in for a big surprise because their are countless books tv shows, and counselor offices filled with women who don't.

 10.) "I want to be friends with you so that I can improve my/learn English."
Because who wants to be friends with me right?! Sure I am okay with you only being friends with me based off of my first language and using me to advance in your career and to help you pass those college exams. Of course I don't mind teaching you English for free despite the fact that I make a living off of charging others for the exact same thing.



This list could honestly go on forever but these 10 statements are the ones that have been the most repetitive in my life. I am aware that these things are said out of pure innocence (almost all the time) and meant to be flattering, but nevertheless these statements are rooted in stereotypes, racism, and pure ignorance. I usually try my best to nicely correct people and kindly explain why it is not a compliment but rather somewhat of an insult the moment I hear or read such things but others times I simply ignore it or laugh it off in disbelief at what I was just told.




Have any advice to share or tips to give? Have a question? Please share your experience with interacting with Japanese people and receiving backhanded compliments or if you are someone who has mistakenly made such statements please feel free to share your experience as well.





Stay Tuned!

Please Subscribe to my Blog and Follow Me on my other social media pages.


Follow My Miscellaneous Adventures in Japan! 







YouTube: 

Gaming & Entertainment 

PSN/Wii: CoMic95TheSavior
Xbox: CoMic95

Help Support My Channel & Blog by Making a Donation 

PayPal

$Cash App
CoMic95

Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/CoMic95
CoMic95TheSavior


at No comments:
Labels: , , , ,

Sunday, January 12, 2020

The Real Reason Why Asian Men DON'T Like Black Women

As a young black woman living in Japan I was naturally curious about how people felt about me and was quickly met with disappointment to see, hear, and read about how poor and negative the image of black people was all throughout Asia. I wanted to know why people who had such little experience with black people had feelings and views that were on average more negative than those of white Americans despite having even less experience with dating working with or interacting with black people.
After having lived, worked studied, and dated in Japan for a few years and having met hundreds if not thousands of Asians from various countries I didn't find the rumors about Asian  men disliking black women to be true because my experience had been so positive. I am showered with compliments and I can't go a day without being hit on or approached by a man. I am constantly being stared at and causing men to turn their heads. I am told that I am beautiful charming, cute, and even "sexy" by interviewers, management, staff and waiters at various retailers and schools. I am constantly told that I look like Rihanna. I feel like a celebrity here in Japan but I am also aware that not every black woman has had the same "wonderful" experience that I have had both online and in person.
 I have learned that it wasn't simply that Asian men didn't like black women as a whole but rather they had never seen black women as individuals. Asking an Asian man if they would like to date or marry a black woman as we see in street interviews on YouTube is the equivalent to asking a woman if she'd date or marry a homeless man. The first image that comes to our mind is a dirty wrinkly bearded old man that probably has a drug addiction and that obviously isn't working, but if you were to show us a picture of a man that looked like Tank, Usher, Chris Brown, MGK, etc. then most of us would reconsider.  

Every man is different and there is no one-size-fits-all the it comes to likes and dislikes. What one person finds as attractive another will say as ugly. However there is no denying the fact that black women are the least popular women in the dating pool for every race and Asian men regardless of their country of origin are no exception. Most (keyword being most as in not all) Asian men are not attracted to black women for a variety of reasons. Some of those reasons are shallow and based off of your complexion and features and others are based off of pure ignorance and rumors about diseases, bad manners and behavior and a lack femininity from black women. When people think of black women they do not picture Beyonce, Rhianna, or Lupita. instead they picture a morbidly obese, baldheaded, ghetto, ratchet, loud, masculine woman that lacks manners. They think of STD's, poverty, and a lack of formal education. They picture a woman with features that are generally perceived as unattractive and dirty. This is a mixture of both what they have seen on TV as well as from the black people that they have seen and interacted with that are both touring and living in Asia. I myself as a black woman can honestly say that I can count the attractive black men and women that I have seen here in Japan. Most of the people here are not cute and are working sketchy jobs. They haven't assimilated and seem to have no interest in doing so. When Japanese people think of black people the image in their mind isn't something sexy or appealing just like when the average black person that is NOT interested in Asians or their media and entertainment thinks of an Asian man they envision a short, nerdy, feminine man with a small dick. It honestly goes both ways. Because of this if you ask your average Asian man on the street if they'd date or marry a black woman they'd obviously say no because 90% of what they have seen is NOT positive. This is not to say that they really don't like black women they just haven't seen one that they did.


You can watch my YouTube video on this blog's topic here...

Why Asian Men DON'T Like Black Women



1.) They've Been Brainwashed by The Media

Unfortunately when it comes to being beautiful the only image that Asian men have been given is that of a white woman or an Asian woman that appears to be white (mixed race) in some sort of way. The black people that are shown in media aren't used to represent beauty but rather athleticism and for comic relief. Whether they are showing their ignorance of the language and culture or acting as a clown for a children's show, they are almost never seen as good for anything besides a good laugh.

2.) They Haven't Seen a Black Woman That They've Found Attractive

Most of the black women that Asian men have been exposed to  or that they have interacted with are simply unattractive. Whether it be your hairstyle your choice of fashion, or your features you just aren't what they're looking for. Most people think that they are not attractive in Asia simply because their skin is dark when really it goes so much deeper than just that. Not all black people look alike. Our lips noses eyes, hair and complexions vary significantly from person to person. While every man has his own preference and taste we can all be honest and agree that most men in the world especially within Asia don't find most black features as well as being obesity and dark pigmentation's to be attractive.
The average black person also hasn't seen an Asian man that they have found to be attractive. We also picture the same stereotypical image of an show scrawny, nerdy, racist Asian man with a small dick just like they picture a black woman with big mouth, big nose, tons of weave or some sort of crazy hairstyle, a nasty attitude, and a lack of femininity.

3.) They Think That You're Infected

A lot of people believe that all or most black people have an STD of sometime including HIV or AIDS. This is especially true if you are not African-American (Canadian British Australian) but rather you are from an African country.

4.) They Think That You're Poor

Most peoples image of black people is some poor starving kid in Africa. They think that Africa is just a single country and everyone in it is struggling to make it another day. While it is pretty standard that families/households are financial supported/ran by the men/husband the thought of marrying or dating someone that is poor isn't appealing. Dark skin has been associated with poverty in Asia just like tan are associated with wealth in the western world.

5.) They Believe That You're Uneducated

When Asians think of black women they imagine someone that is loud, lacks manners, isn't polite, and that is rather ignorant. When they think of someone smart and intelligent they simply don't picture a black person thanks to their images being in the media for committing various crimes and seeing them work sketchy jobs on the streets.

6.) They Don't Like Black Skin

Everyone has their own preferences and just like you "have a thing " for Asian men they might "have a thing for white women". Not everyone finds dark skin to be attractive and it is not necessarily because of racism/prejudice. Most people find red hair to be unattractive and those with naturally red hair will usually spend their entire lives dying it blond. It is simply a trait that is viewed negatively. It is not fair by any means but again everyone has a different idea of what is beautiful and what is not.
Some men don't like women with dark complexions at all others are willing to date someone with a pale-brown complexion but would never date anyone darker than that. Colorist is a thing here but so are personal preferences.

7.) They Don't Feel Comfortable Dating Outside of Their Nationality

While this isn't limited to just black women, some men strictly only want to date a woman from their own culture as there won't be a language barrier or a clash of cultures which can easily cause fights and arguments. A lot of men also want to make their parents happy by marrying someone that is the same race and nationality as themselves. Some men are also afraid that they are too small whether it be their physical height or genitalia they fear that they cannot please a foreign women.



As always keep in mind that every man has his own thoughts on this topic. A man that has been internationalized meaning that he has traveled or studied abroad has foreign friends worked in a company for or with foreigners, or that speaks a second language such as English will naturally be more open minded and willing to date or marry outside of his race.





Have any advice to share or tips to give? Have a question? Please share your experience with interacting with dating Asian men in the comments below. If you are Asian and would like to give your own opinion on why most Asians are not attracted to black women please share your thoughts in the comments as well.





Stay Tuned!

Please Subscribe to my Blog and Follow Me on my other social media pages.


Follow My Miscellaneous Adventures in Japan! 







YouTube: 

Gaming & Entertainment 

PSN/Wii: CoMic95TheSavior
Xbox: CoMic95

Help Support My Channel & Blog by Making a Donation 

PayPal

$Cash App
CoMic95

Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/CoMic95
CoMic95TheSavior
at No comments:
Labels: , , , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Most Popular Posts