Everyone thinks that Japanese men are some sort of rare species of men and that they can do no wrong. Despite the fact that they may have a lot of cultural differences that affect the way that think and behave they are still men at heart and thus they generally like and want the same things that any other man from around the world would and those things include sex with exotic and sexy women. I have dated a ton of Japanese men many of which I am not proud of and would rather erase from my memory, but hey we all make mistakes right?
Since I have been played, lied to and tricked on several occasions I dedicated my final days in Tokyo while living at Sakura House to informing all of my European & Asian friends of the players that have unfortunately infected the dating pool here whenever I'd overhear them talking about a bad date or a guy giving them mixed signals.
Just like you as a foreign woman are curious about Japanese men they too are also very curious about foreign women. They also have their own stereotypes about you too! It's no secret that most women believe that Asian men have small dicks, and are very short and thin in stature. Japanese men also believe that foreign women love sex, are overly confident, curvaceous or fat, and radical feminists (which unfortunately means free sex, no drinks, gifts, dressing up, or fancy & expensive dinner dates necessary to score in bed to a Japanese man). This means that they stereotypically believe that they can get the best of both worlds. He can save his money and time by cutting straight to the point and without having to invest in you physically, financially, or emotionally and he also gets to have sex with a "better looking" woman. In Japan foreign women (and men) are viewed as being much more beautiful as they have exotic features big eyes, light colored eyes, pale skin, light colored hair, large breasts, and are believe to be very open with their sexuality. To a lot of guys you're like a free escort. The good news is that Japanese people are bad liars. Once you learn how to play the game you'll be able to detect a fuckboy from a mile away. It's really not that hard to trust your gut.
As always this is not everyone of course! There are exceptions to every rule, but in general if the man that you're seeing has done any or most of these 25 things it's time to cut him off and let him go before you waste anymore of your time, money, or love on this jerk.
Please watch my YouTube video on this topic here...
25 Signs That You're Dating a Japanese Fuckboy
1.) He Tells You That He Loves You
In Japanese saying "I love you" is not a commonly used phrase so it has no real meaning. Thanks to Netflix and American movies a lot of people stereotypically believe that by saying this line you can manipulate a woman into sleeping with you.
2.) He Talks About Your Body Explicitly or Touches You in Public
Instead of giving you appropriate gentleman like compliments he flat out tells you that you have oppai (large breasts). He has no fear of inappropriately brushing up against your breasts with his hands or butt in public without your permission.
3.) He Tells You That He Hates Asian Women
He rambles about how immature, unattractive, hard to please, and lazy his own race or nationality is (Japanese/Asian).
4.) All of His Exes Are Foreigners
There's a pattern. He seems to have exclusively choose to see with non-Japanese women despite living in a homogenous society.
5.) He's a Reverse Weaboo
He tells you how much he loves American music, movies, magazines, and actors. He uses English on all of his social media. He mostly follow and is friends with foreigners. He attends international parties and frequents gaijin bars. He tells you how bad and boring Japanese entertainment is or simply never watches it. He has random white women/celebrities as his screen saver, LINE chat background or plastered on his walls around his home.
6.) He Has Gaijin Fever
He is obsessed with foreigners. He wants to meet your friends, asks to visit your share house, exclusive dates them, has a lot of foreign friends, has countless photos of himself playing "tour guide" with strangers that he met online around his home or on his Instagram. He expresses that he relates to them more/better. He has a strong preference for foreign women due to stereotypical reasons such as believing that they're all easy to sleep with radical feminists AKA you won't expect him to pay for dinner (See number 3-5 above).
7.) He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend
Unless you asked him first or made him feel pressured into it most Japanese men prefer to be single until they've graduated from college, been working for at least a year or are at least financially stable, and have their own apartment. Unlike in America people date her with the intention to marry not just for sex & fun so if he is quick to proclaim his love for you and wants to make it official too soon this could be a major red flag. Also consider when did he ask you to be his girlfriend or to be your man. Was it after you rejected a kiss or to go to his home and sleep with him? Its probably a cruel trick.
8.) He Insists on Having Dates at Your Home, His Home or a Love Hotel
He wants to save money and avoid trying to wine & dine you. He may also be married or in a serious relationship with someone else so he doesn't want to be seen with you in public. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?! If he can lure you into his home or a sketchy sex themed place he will figure that it won't be too hard to get you to undress, suck him off, and let him play with your breasts. He doesn't want to waste his time ad money taking a train to see you especially if he plans to bring you back to his home.
9.) He Asks You to Lie About Your Relationship
If you do meet his friends and family he will ask you to lie about how you two met or he will tell you to pretend like you're just friends and nothing more.
10.) He's Only Focused on Himself During Sex
He doesn't care about making you cum. All that matters is that he gets off and can check off "fucked a blonde & a black girl" from his bucket list and brag to his friends later. However don't be fooled some guys won't mind going down on you and will still try to please you as well.
11.) He Doesn't Want You to Meet His Family, Friends or Coworkers
He makes up excuses or seems uncomfortable with having you meet some of the most important people in his life. He wants to hide you from his friends, family, and coworkers. He wants his promiscuous sex life to stay behind closed doors. He can't take all of his friends with benefits and one night stands to meet his family or boss. While you shouldn't expect this on a first date if you've been seeing each other for a while he should invite you to meet his friends, family, and senpai/kohai (seasoned and unseasoned colleagues). If he doesn't it's because he has something to hide and is probably playing you.
12.) He's Always Too Busy to Text or Call You
He only calls you when you're supposed to be meeting up for beer & sex otherwise he tells you he doesn't like to talk on the phone. He conveniently ignores yours texts and makes uno excuses later for why it took so long for him to read your messages despite the fact that EVERY Japanese man has their phone in their hands or in their pocket 24/7 at work, on the train, in the bathroom, at the table, and even besides their bed. He only contacts you when he's horny and/or bored. If he does call he only wants to video chat so that he can see you and take screenshots or ask you for phone sex or to flash him.
13.) He's Secretive and Doesn't Tell You Anything Personal About Himself
He only asks about you and other foreigners. He doesn't say much about himself. He doesn't want you to look him up or know much of anything about his personal life because he doesn't see you in his future. You're just a gaijin sex doll to him. If he does share anything personal its vague, a lie, or only partially true.
14.) He Always Wants to Split The Bill, Forgets His Wallet or Asks for You to Pay The Tab
He conveniently doesn't want to act like a normal Japanese man would when he's with you. In Japan most men feel embarrassed if a woman (whose not their mom or sister etc.) pays for their meal or splits the bill. If he pulls the feminist card on you and says he thought that since you're American you'd be offended so he didn't plan on paying for you (didn't bring enough money), pretends to have forgotten his wallet at work or home, or has no shame in flat out telling you how much you owe him he's not serious about you and just wants sex. His goal is to save money and have sex which is exactly part of the reason why foreign women are "such a steal".
15.) He Takes You Out to Cheap and Sketchy Izakaya's, Karaoke, and Gaijin Bars
His goal is simply to get you drunk fas so that you will have sex with him. He is not trying to impress you or make sure that you're full. He just wants you to lower your morals and convince you to come back to a hotel or his home after a few 250 yen drinks. When or if you do go out to eat it's at a fast food or family restaurant and it wasn't formally planned.
16.) You Always Have Sex When You Meet
He never just wants to play games at the arcade, darts, pool, or enjoy a nice meal together. If he does any of this things with you sex is always followed shortly after or before with rare exceptions. He generally only wants to meet you after dark or early to take advantage of happy hour and avoid rush hour traffic. Once you're done having sex he sends you off to your home that evening or first thing in the morning. if you try to stick around he will tell you that he needs to study at the library, meet with his friends or go to work.
17.) He Makes Vague Plans and Sometimes Cancels Them Suddenly
He tells you he wants to go drinking on Friday but doesn't say where or gives a vague location such as near Shinjuku Station. He might not even tell you what time to meet him or what the plans are but simply that he wants to see you that evening. He doesn't care about your personal life and its plans. He doesn't check if you're free or available in advance. It's all about him. He might even cancel at the last minute because he's too tired for sex, or he found a new and possibly hotter girl to have sex with for the night.
18.) He Makes No Effort to Get to Know You
He doesn't care if you think sushi is gross and are passionate about french toast and hamburgers. He never asks what your major is, if you think cats are cute, or is your favorite color is pink, and I Love You Man is your favorite movie. The more he gets to know you the closer he'll get to you and the guiltier he will feel. He doesn't care because once again you're just an easy foreigner to sleep with. He doesn't see you in his future.
19.) He Asks For Nudes
He has no shame in telling you that he's horny and wants to add a few pictures and videos to his bedtime fap collection. He insists that you help him get off before or after you meet. Even worse he might ask or take pictures and/or video of you without your consent.
20.) He Blames You for Everything
If things go bad on your date or you call him out for being a fuckboy or catch him in a lie he tells you that he thought this is what you wanted and insists that it's all your fault because you choose him. He doesn't apologize for lying to you and instead accuses you of misunderstanding his culture as well as the terms of your "not relationship".
21.) He Uses His Phone During Dates
Instead of getting to know you, applying some lip balm, or checking his reflection to make sure there's no yakitori, or seaweed stuck in-between his teeth he'd rather be on his phone. He doesn't mind being rude and whipping out his phone to text or even call back other girls and/or to make plans with his friends or FWB's during your dates in order to avoid being bored to death hearing you talk about how much you love anime and cat cafes.
22.) He's Over Protective of His Phone and Computer
If you go to his home and ask to use either he makes up excuses that seem much deeper than someone trying to hide the fact that they have a fetish, watch porn, search for answers to strange things, or were busy stalking you, but more so that he is hiding other women who he has saved pictures, videos, and messages from. he may have dates saved in his calendar, fear that a girl might send something to him while you're using his phone or computer or simply afraid that he may have left notes or passwords to his dating site profiles and subscriptions.
23.) He Never Asks to Take Pictures Together
He doesn't want to take couples pictures. Every Japanese couple has been to Purikura at least twice. If he doesn't asks you to to go somewhere fun, relaxing or beautiful with him to snap a few pictures with BOTH of your phones then it's orb ably because he knows it's a waste of his money and he doesn't want waste any memory on his phone or time going back and deleting them. Also he ins't okay with you taking his picture either as he doesn't want you to expose him or search for him later. Having a picture together could also be used as blackmail if he's married or romantically involved with another woman.
24.) He Says He's Not Ready For a Relationship
He's more than ready to have sex with you but he claims that he doesn't know what he wants in life yet, tells you he's too young to get married or have children, and that he wants to focus on his job and taking care of his family. He tells you to find a better or nicer guy than himself. This guy is clearly being selfish and simply trying to get what he wants which is sex. He doesn't care if you're pushing 30, you've been talking for over a year or that he expects sex from you every weekend. You wanting to take things the next step is "moving too fast for him". An exclusive relationship is out of the question and marriage is an absolute NO.
25.) He Doesn't Post Pictures of You on His Social Media
Japanese men always follow their girlfriends on Instagram & Twitter (if they they have one) and will gladly befriend you on Facebook. If he seems hesitant to do so claims to not have once or use his, then it's probably because he doesn't want you to see the other girls he's playing too. He knows that women aren't stupid and will piece everything together. He wants to maintain the appearance of being single and available to any other woman who comes his way and obviously having you plastered on his timeline will deter most (not all) women from contacting him.
Always trust your gut! If you ever feel uncomfortable or like something isn't right about the man that you're seeing then it's probably not because you have OCD or that you are crazy but your brain is trying to get you to ignore your heart for a second and see things for what they are. If you have to ask if it's real then it probably isn't.
Do you have any advice on dating Japanese men or on how to avoid the bad guys? Feel free to leave a comment below and help out some of the other ladies who are in similar situations to what you have been through or that you are currently going through.
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