25 Signs That You're Dating a Japanese Fuckboy

Everyone thinks that Japanese men are some sort of rare species of men and that they can do no wrong. Despite the fact that they may have a lot of cultural differences that affect the way that think and behave they are still men at heart and thus they generally like and want the same things that any other man from around the world would and those things include sex with exotic and sexy women. I have dated a ton of Japanese men many of which I am not proud of and would rather erase from my memory, but hey we all make mistakes right?

Since I have been played, lied to and tricked on several occasions I dedicated my final days in Tokyo while living at Sakura House to informing all of my European & Asian friends of the players that have unfortunately infected the dating pool here whenever I'd overhear them talking about a bad date or a guy giving them mixed signals.

Just like you as a foreign woman are curious about Japanese men they too are also very curious about foreign women. They also have their own stereotypes about you too! It's no secret that most women believe that Asian men have small dicks, and are very short and thin in stature. Japanese men also believe that foreign women love sex, are overly confident, curvaceous or fat, and radical feminists (which unfortunately means free sex, no drinks, gifts, dressing up, or fancy & expensive dinner dates necessary to score in bed to a Japanese man). This means that they stereotypically believe that they can get the best of both worlds. He can save his money and time by cutting straight to the point and without having to invest in you physically, financially, or emotionally and he also gets to have sex with a "better looking" woman. In Japan foreign women (and men) are viewed as being much more beautiful as they have exotic features big eyes, light colored eyes, pale skin, light colored hair, large breasts, and are believe to be very open with their sexuality. To a lot of guys you're like a free escort. The good news is that Japanese people are bad liars. Once you learn how to play the game you'll be able to detect a fuckboy from a mile away. It's really not that hard to trust your gut.

As always this is not everyone of course! There are exceptions to every rule, but in general if the man that you're seeing has done any or most of these 25 things it's time to cut him off and let him go before you waste anymore of your time, money, or love on this jerk.

This is my boyfriend (who is not a fuckboy or a jerk haha) but he certainly does look like one in this picture. To be fair he only pulled out his phone when I did and he actually just finished taking pictures of me eating and texted them to me haha.

Please watch my YouTube video on this topic here...

25 Signs That You're Dating a Japanese Fuckboy

1.) He Tells You That He Loves You

In Japanese saying "I love you" is not a commonly used phrase so it has no real meaning. Thanks to Netflix and American movies a lot of people stereotypically believe that by saying this line you can manipulate a woman into sleeping with you.

2.) He Talks About Your Body Explicitly or Touches You in Public 

Instead of giving you appropriate gentleman like compliments he flat out tells you that you have oppai (large breasts). He has no fear of inappropriately brushing up against your breasts with his hands or butt in public without your permission.

3.) He Tells You That He Hates Asian Women 

He rambles about how immature, unattractive, hard to please, and lazy his own race or nationality is (Japanese/Asian).

4.) All of His Exes Are Foreigners

There's a pattern. He seems to have exclusively choose to see with non-Japanese women despite living in a homogenous society.

5.) He's a Reverse Weaboo 

He tells you how much he loves American music, movies, magazines, and actors. He uses English on all of his social media. He mostly follow and is friends with foreigners. He attends international parties and frequents gaijin bars. He tells you how bad and boring Japanese entertainment is or simply never watches it. He has random white women/celebrities as his screen saver, LINE chat background or plastered on his walls around his home.

6.) He Has Gaijin Fever

He is obsessed with foreigners. He wants to meet your friends, asks to visit your share house, exclusive dates them, has a lot of foreign friends, has countless photos of himself playing "tour guide" with strangers that he met online around his home or on his Instagram. He expresses that he relates to them more/better. He has a strong preference for foreign women due to stereotypical reasons such as believing that they're all easy to sleep with radical feminists AKA you won't expect him to pay for dinner (See number 3-5 above).

7.) He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend

Unless you asked him first or made him feel pressured into it most Japanese men prefer to be single until they've graduated from college, been working for at least a year or are at least financially stable, and have their own apartment. Unlike in America people date her with the intention to marry not just for sex & fun so if he is quick to proclaim his love for you and wants to make it official too soon this could be a major red flag. Also consider when did he ask you to be his girlfriend or to be your man. Was it after you rejected a kiss or to go to his home and sleep with him? Its probably a cruel trick.

8.) He Insists on Having Dates at Your Home, His Home or a Love Hotel

He wants to save money and avoid trying to wine & dine you. He may also be married or in a serious relationship with someone else so he doesn't want to be seen with you in public. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?! If he can lure you into his home or a sketchy sex themed place he will figure that it won't be too hard to get you to undress, suck him off, and let him play with your breasts. He doesn't want to waste his time ad money taking a train to see you especially if he plans to bring you back to his home.

9.) He Asks You to Lie About Your Relationship

If you do meet his friends and family he will ask you to lie about how you two met or he will tell you to pretend like you're just friends and nothing more. 

10.) He's Only Focused on Himself During Sex

He doesn't care about making you cum. All that matters is that he gets off and can check off "fucked a blonde & a black girl" from his bucket list and brag to his friends later. However don't be fooled some guys won't mind going down on you and will still  try to please you as well.

11.) He Doesn't Want You to Meet His Family, Friends or Coworkers

He makes up excuses or seems uncomfortable with having you  meet some of the most important people in his life. He wants to hide you from his friends, family, and coworkers. He wants his promiscuous sex life to stay behind closed doors. He can't take all of his friends with benefits and one night stands to meet his family or boss. While you shouldn't expect this on a first date if you've been seeing each other for a while he should invite you to meet his friends, family, and senpai/kohai (seasoned and unseasoned colleagues). If he doesn't it's because he has something to hide and is probably playing you.

12.) He's Always Too Busy to Text or Call You

He only calls you when you're supposed to be meeting up for beer & sex otherwise he tells you he doesn't like to talk on the phone. He conveniently ignores yours texts and makes uno excuses later for why it took so long for him to read your messages despite the fact that EVERY Japanese man has their phone in their hands or in their pocket 24/7 at work, on the train, in the bathroom, at the table, and even besides their bed. He only contacts you when he's horny and/or bored. If he does call he only wants to video chat so that he can see you and take screenshots or ask you for phone sex or to flash him.

13.) He's Secretive and Doesn't Tell You Anything Personal About Himself 

He only asks about you and other foreigners. He doesn't say much about himself. He doesn't want you to look him up or know much of anything about his personal life because he doesn't see you in his future. You're just a gaijin sex doll to him. If he does share anything personal its vague, a lie, or only partially true.

14.) He Always Wants to Split The Bill, Forgets His Wallet or Asks for You to Pay The Tab 

He conveniently doesn't want to act like a normal Japanese man would when he's with you. In Japan most men feel embarrassed if a woman (whose not their mom or sister etc.) pays for their meal or splits the bill. If he pulls the feminist card on you and says he thought that since you're American you'd be offended so he didn't plan on paying for you (didn't bring enough money), pretends to have forgotten his wallet at work or home, or has no shame in flat out telling you how much you owe him he's not serious about you and just wants sex. His goal is to save money and have sex which is exactly part of the reason why foreign women are "such a steal".

15.) He Takes You Out to Cheap and Sketchy Izakaya's, Karaoke, and Gaijin Bars 

His goal is simply to get you drunk fas so that you will have sex with him. He is not trying to impress you or make sure that you're full. He just wants you to lower your morals and convince you to come back to a hotel or his home after a few 250 yen drinks. When or if you do go out to eat it's at a fast food or family restaurant and it wasn't formally planned.

16.) You Always Have Sex When You Meet

He never just wants to play games at the arcade, darts, pool, or enjoy a nice meal together. If he does any of this things with you sex is always followed shortly after or before with rare exceptions. He generally only wants to meet you after dark or early to take advantage of happy hour and avoid rush hour traffic. Once you're done having sex he sends you off to your home that evening or first thing in the morning. if you try to stick around he will tell you that he needs to study at the library, meet with his friends or go to work.

17.) He Makes Vague Plans and Sometimes Cancels Them Suddenly

He tells you he wants to go drinking on Friday but doesn't say where or gives a vague location such as near Shinjuku Station. He might not even tell you what time to meet him or what the plans are but simply that he wants to see you that evening. He doesn't care about your personal life and its plans. He doesn't check if you're free or available in advance. It's all about him. He might even cancel at the last minute because he's too tired for sex, or he found a new and possibly hotter girl to have sex with for the night.

 18.) He Makes No Effort to Get to Know You

He doesn't care if you think sushi is gross and are passionate about french toast and hamburgers. He never asks what your major is, if you think cats are cute, or is your favorite color is pink, and I Love You Man is your favorite movie. The more he gets to know you the closer he'll get to you and the guiltier he will feel. He doesn't care because once again you're just an easy foreigner to sleep with. He doesn't see you in his future.

19.) He Asks For Nudes

He has no shame in telling you that he's horny and wants to add a few pictures and videos to his bedtime fap collection. He insists that you help him get off before or after you meet. Even worse he might ask or take pictures and/or video of you without your consent. 

20.) He Blames You for Everything

If things go bad on your date or you call him out for being a fuckboy or catch him in a lie he tells you that he thought this is what you wanted and insists that it's all your fault because you choose him. He doesn't apologize for lying to you and instead accuses you of misunderstanding his culture as well as the terms of your "not relationship".

21.) He Uses His Phone During Dates 

Instead of getting to know you, applying some lip balm, or checking his reflection to make sure there's no yakitori, or seaweed stuck in-between his teeth he'd rather be on his phone. He doesn't mind being rude and whipping out his phone to text or even call back other girls and/or to make plans with his friends or FWB's during your dates in order to avoid being bored to death hearing you talk about how much you love anime and cat cafes.

22.) He's Over Protective of His Phone and Computer

If you go to his home and ask to use either he makes up excuses that seem much deeper than someone trying to hide the fact that they have a fetish, watch porn, search for answers to strange things, or were busy stalking you, but more so that he is hiding other women who he has saved pictures, videos, and messages from. he may have dates saved in his calendar, fear that a girl might send something to him while you're using his phone or computer or simply afraid that he may have left notes or passwords to his dating site profiles and subscriptions.

23.) He Never Asks to Take Pictures Together 

He doesn't want to take couples pictures. Every Japanese couple has been to Purikura at least twice. If he doesn't asks you to to go somewhere fun, relaxing or beautiful with him to snap a few pictures with BOTH of your phones then it's orb ably because he knows it's a waste of his money and he doesn't want waste any memory on his phone or time going back and deleting them. Also he ins't okay with you taking his picture either as he doesn't want you to expose him or search for him later. Having a picture together could also be used as blackmail if he's married or romantically involved with another woman.

24.) He Says He's Not Ready For a Relationship

He's more than ready to have sex with you but he claims that he doesn't know what he wants in life yet, tells you he's too young to get married or have children, and that he wants to focus on his job and taking care of his family. He tells you to find a better or nicer guy than himself. This guy is clearly being selfish and simply trying to get what he wants which is sex. He doesn't care if you're pushing 30, you've been talking for over a year or that he expects sex from you every weekend. You wanting to take things the next step is "moving too fast for him". An exclusive relationship is out of the question and marriage is an absolute NO.

25.) He Doesn't Post Pictures of You on His Social Media

Japanese men always follow their girlfriends on Instagram & Twitter (if they they have one) and will gladly befriend you on Facebook. If he seems hesitant to do so claims to not have once or use his, then it's probably because he doesn't want you to see the other girls he's playing too. He knows that women aren't stupid and will piece everything together. He wants to maintain the appearance of being single and available to any other woman who comes his way and obviously having you plastered on his timeline will deter most (not all) women from contacting him.

Always trust your gut! If you ever feel uncomfortable or like something isn't right about the man that you're seeing then it's probably not because you have OCD or that you are crazy but your brain is trying to get you to ignore your heart for a second and see things for what they are. If you have to ask if it's real then it probably isn't.

Do you have any advice on dating Japanese men or on how to avoid the bad guys? Feel free to leave a comment below and help out some of the other ladies who are in similar situations to what you have been through or that you are currently going through.

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How to Get Rid of Roaches in Japan: Roaches Are Everywhere in Japan

Roaches are everywhere in Japan. You cannot avoid them. Having come from America this was a very hard pill for me to swallow. In my home country roaches were a sign of poverty and bad cleaning habits. Usually people who had roaches got them from simply leaving food lying around and not cleaning their floors, counters, or  washing the dishes on a regular basis.
After having lived with a hoarder as well as having gone on visits to see my dad and grandparents whom had a massive infestation of mice and roaches I became paranoid. I developed OCD and a really bad bug phobia.
As an adult I found myself constantly cleaning everything all the time. I always use too much detergent, soap, spray, wipes, towels, EVERYTHING! Nothing can ever be clean enough for me. I unconsciously over wash things because I am always in constant fear of contamination.  I was devastated when I had learned the hard way from my boyfriend, friends and landlord that there was very little that could be done about roaches.

It Can't Be Helped!

Roaches are inevitable. No matter how clean you are you will have roaches! Roaches in Japan are NOT like roaches in America in any way shape or form. They are much bigger and in my opinion scarier, faster, and harder to kill too!
Everyone has had them and most people get them throughout the year occasionally. You can't avoid them forever! No matter how much you clean your home you will (unfortunately) either deal with a full-blown infestation or you will spot a stray brown guy out of the blue every so often (thus experience a small infestation). Having roaches here is just like seeing ants or spiders in your home. It is simply unavoidable. It is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of and by no means is it a sign that you are dirty (necessarily)!
I believe that this is another reason (one of many) why most Japanese families tend to clean their homes very often despite the fact that shoes aren't worn inside their homes.

The Solution

Baits

Consider using baits over sticky traps. Baits act as a long-term solution. They work by attracting roaches with their strong chemical-cookie like smell. Roaches will quickly grab a small piece of the poisonous cookie from the trap and will bring it back to share with the nest. The roaches who partake in the delicious arsenic cookie will become gravely ill. Their dead bodies and any deification left behind will also act as a bait and poison since roaches eat their own and others poop. They are also cannibals. 

Roaches usually make their nests in hard to reach places such as in dark areas that are out of sight so by using a bait you are allowing the roaches to do all of the work for you. It is impossible to be at home 24/7 to see every single bug that makes its way into your living quarters. Baits are unsightly but they work the best! You can expect to see them practically vanish over the course of as little as 3 days to a few weeks depending on how many baits you buy, the locations you place them in, and of course the size of the infestation.

Traps

Traps are just that! They are black, sticky, rectangular shaped trays that cause anything that touches them to become stuck. If you are afraid of bugs it will be difficult to dispose of the traps as you'll have to come face to face with their living or dead bodies.

This is not a good solution for people with pets or small children.

This solution doesn't resolve the problem long-term as it only kills the bugs who accidentally step onto them. Baits kill roaches that have probably never even stepped foot into your house or at least not in that particular area of it.

Sprays

A good roach spray is easy to use for a short term and fast on the spot solution. They allow you to kill roaches instantly from a distance or up close without having to smash them with a shoe, tissue, or a swatter, all of which can be quite messy and scary if you fear them (as much as I do).
They're usually made up of strong poisonous chemicals that instantly kill the bugs on sight (so you might not want to use them in a small enclosed area without first opening a window).  

There are several different kinds that can be used. You an even make your own solution by mixing a good concentrated dishwashing liquid and warm or hot water into a spare bottle. I personally prefer to use a more expensive option that is a lemon scented foaming cleaning spray. It's a discreet item to keep in any room in your house and it works faster as its only requires a few squirts.

Bug sprays shouldn't be used anywhere near baits as they will damage them if they are sprayed directly on or anywhere near the baits which may stop roaches from being attracted to the baits and can also damage or dilute the product itself. 

I assume that they'll be able to pick up the poisonous smell. Sprays do not solve the problem longterm  if there is a chance of an infestation, as this only kills the bugs that you can see and spray on site. If there is a roach, no matter how big or small it is then there is a nest somewhere! Using baits allow the roaches that are hiding from you and that you do not see to kill themselves and their friends and family. Using baits is really a win-win situation!

The Final Verdict

While it may seem a bit embarrassing to have traps or baits set up around your home it is the best and cheapest long term solution with very minimal mess and cleanup as the traps are solid and don't really contain any liquid. They are good for up to 3 months for less than ¥10000 you can easily rid your home of these pests. It's okay to use a combination of sprays, traps, and baits long as you don't spray near the baits and are willing to remove of the sticky traps without a problem.

It will typically take about 2 months or less for all of the roaches to disappear for good and of course you'll have to continue keeping up   the good work with cleaning on your end too!

What To Do Once You've Spotted A Brown Guy

• Place 1-2 baits in every corner of your home in each individual room. Consider placing at least 1 additional bait in every kitchen and bathroom cabinet, on windowsills, and inside and outside your front and backdoors.

• Be sure to keep windows and door closed while you are asleep or away from home. 

• Cover all of the drains in your kitchen and bathroom when not in use. You can purchase a drain protector from Daiso or any other convenience or grocery store. 

• Try to find possible sources/ways/paths of entry. Check for cracks and openings inside or near windows, air conditioners, ventilations, and doors. You can purchase a heavy duty putty or pay for a professional (recommended) to properly seal off these areas.

• Dispose of any open food, such as fruit, cereal, seasonings, spices, or drinks that have been left open in your cabinets, fridges or on countertops. Roaches can carry diseases and can contaminate your food with salmonella poisoning. It sucks to waste "good" food but it's better to be safe than sorry. Besides you don't want to accidentally bake a roach into your cake or stir one into your cup of joe in the morning by accident. Sugar, flour, and various spices might be full of baby roaches. Yuck!

• Bleach and thoroughly clean your kitchen and bathroom sinks as well as the bathtub.  

• Bleach and thoroughly clean your dishes.

• Cover your trash can or tie the bag. You don't want to provide the bugs with a free food pantry.

• While this method isn't proven, I personally believe that keeping your home cool, leaving the lights on, and playing music throughout the day or evening will keep them out of site and comfort you if you have a phobia and are paranoid of encountering another little brown guy. It worked for me!

• Have a spray that is easily accessible in areas that they tend to frequent so that you can act fast should you come across a little brown guy. I like to keep a spray bottle, on my kitchen sink, and inside my bathroom so that there's no chance of it getting away.

Taking Initiative & Lifestyle Changes

Don't wait until it's too late! Just because you haven't seen a roach yet doesn't mean that you don't have them! While everyone deals with an occasional roach wandering into their homes you don't have to encourage an infestation to take place. You have to start a routine of daily cleaning and proper storage of both your food and garbage.

Food Storage

Avoid leaving food out in the open. Store fruits,vegetables and snacks in  ziplock and plastic bags. Make sure that you bags have been tied nice and tight or sealed properly so that smaller bugs don't manage to get inside. I would also recommend purchasing reusable clear/see-through plastic storage containers 

Dish Storage

I would recommend that place dishes into a clean and clear plastic storage container or in a box. If you can't afford to do so or if you're not too bothered by the bugs then I'd suggest that you at least begin thoroughly rinsing all of your dishes with hot water before cooking with them or eating off of them.

Garbage Disposal & Storage

Purchase trashcans with a lid. Place food inside of plastic bags and tie them before disposing of them.
Take out the trash at least once every day. Do not become lazy and put off disposing of your garbage! 

Keeping It Clean

Clean your home religiously! You should sweep, mop, and vacuum your floors daily. Wash and dry all of your dishes, pots, pans, and cooking utensils immediately after use. Keep your counter tops spotless and free of crumbs and spills. Roaches can survive for as long as a month from just a single crumb of food. If your home doesn't have easily accessible food it will slow down their breeding and they will choose to visit and nest elsewhere. 

Bug Disposal

You must get rid of them as soon as you kill them! Similarly to must bugs they can survive a fall as they have exoskeletons, as well as sprays that are intended to be used to kill them. You don't want them to play dead and later recuperate themselves and leave the scene!

Dead roaches that are pregnant can still lay their eggs and hatch more roaches! Roaches are cannibals so leaving their dead bodies lying around id not only gross and unsanitary but you're providing a big meal for other bugs that may be hiding in your home.

Dispose of their dead bodies immediately! If you can't do it yourself then ask a friend, your neighbor or your partner to help you do so.

Stay Tuned!

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How To Take Care of Your Relaxed Hair

Going from curly or wavy hair to straight hair may seem like a dream come true for us swirly & wavy headed girls, but with your new found locks come some new rules too. Now more than ever you must take exceptionally good care of your hair to avoid excessive shedding, split ends and permanent damage to your hair. In order to maintain your relaxer you will have to develop a good routine that consists of providing your hair with the proper amount of moisture, cleansing, and upkeep. 

Moisturize

If you're using a straightening perm then there is a pretty good chance that your hair is drier than most girls. Curly & wavy hair doesn't get noticeably "dirty" as fast because of the structure of the hair shafts. It takes longer for oil to get from your scalp to the lengths of your strands. While your hair can go longer in between washes and possesses a natural body and thickness, it is also more prone to damage, breakage, split ends, and overall dryness. 

• Invest in a lightweight oil that can be applied throughout the lengths of your hair daily 

• If you have a dry scalp consider greasing it or applying a hot oil treatment directly to your scalp once a week 

• Use a deep conditioner whenever you wash your hair (once a week or twice a month)

• Apply a natural oil to the ends of your hair everyday to help reduce breakage

Cleanse

Depending on your hair texture, you may find that your hair needs to be washed less often due to the relaxer making your hair drier than usual. However your strands still need to be cleansed on a regular basis to avoid an unwanted build up of dirt, dandruff, and oils 

• Wash your hair at least twice month or every 2 weeks (depending on your hairs natural texture)

• Section and detangle your hair starting from the bottom and working your way up to the top before you wash it

• Avoid excessive use of dry shampoos and hairspray (hold sprays/gels) as these will dry out your hair and can cause a buildup of product and dirt thus making your already damaged and dry hair need to be stripped and washed more often

• Remove dandruff and product buildup by scratching your scalp with a comb before you wash and with your fingers as you shampoo and rinse your hair 

• Use a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner made for dry or curly hair

• Pat your hair dry with a microfiber towel or simply let it air dry

Protect

While it may be tempting to play with your hair now that it is practically bone straight, this isn't the best idea! After perming your hair it is significantly weaker than before because relaxers chemically break down and alter the bonds of each strand of your hair. In order to avoid hair loss or any further damage it is very important to be proactive with your hair.

• Use a satin pillow case and/or a satin bonnet 

• Consider low maintenance and low manipulation hairstyles such as lose buns, braids, or ponytails 

• Gently detangle your hair by sectioning and starting from the bottom and working your way up to the top of your head

• Avoid dying or bleaching your hair

• Allow your hair to air dry instead of using a blowdryer 

• If possible try to stretch your relaxers to 3-4 times a year

• Minimize how frequently you use heat tools

• Avoid playing with your hair for fun or excessively brushing and combing it

• Wear your hair natural every so often to help it heal and repair from all of the heat and chemicals its endured from the relaxer and heated tools that you've been using

Heat Control

You should minimize the amount of heat that you are applying to your hair. Avoid using a flat iron, curling iron, or a blowdryer everyday. Your hair is already somewhat damaged and drier than usual from the relaxer, so applying excessive heat can weaken and fry out your hair. 

If you absolutely must be sure to take extra precautions to keep your hair healthy.

• Start your day/week by using a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner made for dry curly hair 

• Apply a good heat protectant serum

• Set your dryer or iron to a cool or low heat setting

• Try to avoid going over sections with heated tools several times to minimize damage and breakage

• Ideally you should try to only straighten or curl your hair no more than a couple of times a week to keep it healthy 

Touch Ups

Unfortunately your hair won't stay straight forever! New growth isn't affected by the relaxer as it only alters the "dead hair" that has already extended from your scalp. Similar to the process of bleaching or coloring your hair, you will inevitably have to periodically reprocess your hair to maintain your new straight look. 

• Trim your split ends every 3 months about 1/8 of an inch of hair to avoid breakage and to maintain your length

• Relax your hair every 6-8 weeks

• Be sure to only apply the relaxer to your new growth to avoid over processing your hair

Tips: 

• Stretching out your relaxers can help you grow and maintain healthier hair

• Excessively dry hair leads to breakage so be sure to use products that don't contain harsh chemicals

• Your hair needs to be trimmed at least once every six months so that your hair can maintain its length and grow
• Once your hair starts to lose its bounce, becomes greasy to touch, or has difficulty staying straight (frizzes easily/curls up in the face of little to no sweat and humidity) then it is definitely time to thoroughly wash your hair

Enjoy your new healthy straight hair! 

Thank you so much for reading! Please be sure to leave a comment if you have any questions or advice to give to others.

Stay Tuned!

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